My Broken Hand…
As
most of you have probably seen, I’ve been walking around in a sling with Ace
Bandages/fiberglass wrapped around my hand and forearm. Why? I broke my hand.
(A closed and angulated fracture to the fifth metacarpal bone, or commonly
referred to as a “boxer’s fracture”). Others have heard my somewhat ridiculous
tale of how I broke it, but for those less-fortunate let me explain exactly how
it happened:
In
the midst of the most glorious Sunday noon nap, it somehow occurred to me that
the fall sports awards assembly would be occurring soon, and I instantly woke
up with a start. How could I miss my last soccer awards assembly, nonetheless
Coach Phil’s last address of the boys’ soccer team? After desperately checking
my email, I saw that the assembly would start at 1pm. Relieved, I took a deep
breath. It was 12:55 pm. Time to get to business.
Whether
it was the excitement, sheer clumsiness, or my body’s protest to its rude awakening
from its beauty sleep, as I was trying to head to the car while putting on my
pants, I tripped and fell on my hand, consequently breaking it…
Is
the story I told the nurses/people I’m afraid of losing face to.
Often
the truth in life is ugly, and we have the tendency to try to present it in a
better way. Whether it is through exaggeration, or a plain and simple lie, we
have all been in a position where we are given a choice: to own up to the
truth, or cope with the lie.
If
you wanted to be presented with a moral example, or preachy life lesson, sorry,
but there’s none here. This is more of a confession.
The
ugly truth is that I didn’t unintentionally break my hand. Well, sort of. The
real story is that I fell in a bit of a rage on Sunday, and punched a wall,
also breaking my hand. While I was intending to break the wall, I also confess
to being conscious enough in my rage to recognize the potentially dire
consequences that followed. And that’s what anger, if not controlled with a
strict self-discipline, lets you do: make irrational and irresponsible
decisions.
The
problem with explaining or revealing the truth is that it’s often complicated,
and often the truth by itself can actually be somewhat misrepresentative
without context. I like to think of myself as someone who is very patient and
most of all, isn’t violent. But within all the excuses that I could wrap myself
around with, the truth is that I broke my hand punching that stupid wall. Then
you must also be asking why? What drove me to such anger?
The
justification for my deceit is simple: I simply don’t have the time to explain
the events that spanned back nearly twenty years back and led up to the events
that occurred on Sunday. Firstly, there’s the problem with time, but it would
also make me a little uncomfortable revealing deeply personal events to
everyone. And without the context the truth sadly paints me as someone that I’m
not. So, I fashioned a fun anecdote to substitute for convenience’s sake.
In
the end, I think guilt pushed me to write this blog post. I tried my best to
not lie to the people and explain my situation to them when I had the
opportunity to do so, but it also never really feels good lying to people’s
faces. If you are reading this and I lied to you, please don’t take offense, I
meant no harm. If you are a person who likes indulging themselves to learning
about the deeply personal lives of the people around you like I am, feel free
to ask me why, I’d be happy to explain it to you.
If
there is a life lessoned to be learned from my experience though, no matter how
mad you get, don’t punch a wall. Beyond the incredible pain, suffering, and regret
you feel as you hold back the tears in your eyes, you are not ready to
experience the incredibly humiliating embarrassment that follows in the
recognition of your incredible stupidity. Punch a pillow, kick a mildly flimsy
door, mush jello, or beat up a punching bag, that’s what it’s for. If you are
angry to the point that you feel an intense desire to be destructive, be destructive
in a way that you or anyone else can’t get hurt because trust me, I’ve
only been in a cast for 4 of my 28 days and I am suffering. While I am lucky
that I don’t need surgery, my finger will forever be slightly curled inwards
because of how the bones are not aligned.
In
your moment of rage, in the impulse of irrationality, do yourself a favor and
don’t hurt yourself.
Haha
totally lied again about there being no preachy life lesson oops... : )
The image of you tripping over your pants in a mad dash to the car is hilarious. But I think a lot of us have been there, where we hurt ourselves while in a fit of rage. I used to try to rip my pillow into pieces when I was younger and mad (normally because I lost at Yugioh). But I like the funny and introspective post!
ReplyDeleteOf all the lies you could have made up to avoid "losing face", why would you make up one which gives people the image of a fumbling fool wearing only underpants and a shirt tripping on his trousers and injuring himself unceremoniously? You could have made yourself look at least somewhat less of an ignoramus to the people to whom you want to look good. Still, the real story is something I think we've all thought of doing at some point or another, but who knew walls were such good boxers? At least now I know what to do: hit something soft, like you suggest, or just break out the bulldozers. Or wrecking balls. Or sledge hammers. Or...
ReplyDeleteI was actually very curious when I saw you walking around with that cast on your hand. I never muscled up the courage to ask. Mainly because I know it starts to get annoying after someone asks you "what happened" for the 100th time, and you don't know if they want the long explanation or the short summary.
ReplyDeleteI respect your boldness to come out and write about yourself in a not-so-great light. It's really hard because it's almost feels like you're sabotaging to your "image", although, I feel that many people have had their own fits of rage. Personally, I have really dumb short bursts of rage like struggling to take off a shoe. I ended up accidentally slamming my toe into the corner of a wall; I got a bruised toe.
I've always seen you as a calm and friendly person. After this post, I can tell you're honest too. Thanks for this post. It's a wonderful reminder that we're all human.
I really believed the first story, you never seemed like the punch a wall kind of person, and as such, I love the honesty in this post. Unfortunately, I think there's a punch the wall person in all of us, and it's so hard to keep in check sometimes. But good thing we learn from mistakes, and this excellent personal story is a valuable lesson for everyone.
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