My slightly unhealthy semi-frequent problem.

            As the title suggests, I have a problem. At least, sometimes. 

            Usually, I go throughout the day fine. I go to school, I laugh with my friends, if I can get a couple of subbies I haven’t talked to before to crack a smile throughout the day, I get the warm and fuzzies, I go to whatever extracurriculars I have that day, I eat food with my family at home, roll around with my cats, procrastinate homework by doing homework, actually do homework eventually and go to sleep. Normal day. But sometimes, out of nowhere, I suddenly get an urge. Maybe its triggered by something as small as seeing a relationship in an ad for YouTube, or seeing a cute couple post a very heartwarming picture of them on Instagram, whatever it is, as soon as I’m at home I go on a hunt. 

            After I scour through multiple ranked lists, I usually end up settling at drama3s.com (haha I don’t have money to pay for Dramafever or Viki) and look at the rankings and cover arts to decide which drama I’ll be binging watching. After I watch through a couple different ones, I decide on one that I’ll keep watching, and the rest is history.

            I have a problem with binging K Dramas (Korean Television Dramas). Pre-2017, I used to laugh at them. I heard of the hype and love for them throughout the internet and small conversations. The mistaken initial impression I had of them were that they were dumb, disgustingly cheesy, have low production quality, but at the same time, horribly addicting. 

            Summer of 2017, my family and I visited Korea for the first time since we had immigrated here (fun fact: we were only supposed to stay for a year, but the reason we stayed is a very long story). It was an extremely enriching and powerful trip for me, but I’ll keep the details of how and why for a different blog post. Anyways, throughout the whole trip, I was extremely frustrated. 

Before the trip, I thought that I was actually pretty good at Korean. While I couldn’t read or write, I thought that I would be fine speaking to my relatives in Korea because I could speak fine with my parents. Turns out that just speaking a language other than English at home doesn’t mean that you are actually very fluent in the language because your parents’ speaking habits are only one of many. I came back from Korea with a fire, determined to master Korean, and truly be able to communicate and connect with my relatives oversees. 

            It started with a Korean TV show that uploaded its highlight clips on YouTube (Knowing Brothers/아는 형님). I told myself that I needed to consume as much Korean content as possible, so that I could become acquainted with the language and culture. The show was perfect because it had little Korean captions, so I could practice reading, and it was also hilarious in general. I started to get the hang of Korean humor, and comedy (very different from American btw…). Then somehow I began to watch My Love From the Stars/별에서 온 그대 and I was officially hooked. 

            It wasn’t like I had never binged shows before. I went on some very epic binges of Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, and the Walking Dead (once stayed up 3 night watching GoT, many regrets afterwards, don’t do it). But something about the show resonated with me so deeply that I soon became addicted. Over the course of July and August of 2017, I binged and finished about 10 Korean Dramas, starting another as soon as I finished one. I just couldn’t get myself to stop before school started, and then after school started, and then it became a problem. 

            I only later realized that it was because I was enjoying entertainment within and from a culture that I had put aside. I had spent so much time trying to adjust to and adopt American culture, that in the process, I had put aside the Korean in place for American customs, logic, ideals, humor, and etc to make myself fit in with my peers. It felt as though I was rediscovering repressed parts of myself, and within the excitement, I had become addicted to the rediscovery, and it snowballed to a problem. 

Now, I’ve come to a point where honestly, I’ve watched so many “watch-worthy” shows that I’ve exhausted most lists. If I do start watching something, its usually in the middle of airing meaning I can’t binge through the whole show and get sucked into a binge dark-hole. Thankfully, I’ve gotten better at controlling myself but… *sigh* it’s just those warm&fuzzies/butterflies you get when you watch those sappy semi-generic romantic Korean show man… 

Hit me up if you want K Drama suggestions. (please indulge me)